As young children we were taught four weather conditions; rainy, sunny, windy and cloudy. I now feel compelled to object to this, not because I’ve grown up and no longer find it useful to believe my primary school teachers, but because this monster called global warming has created some strange, new weather condition. Moody. That’s the name. That’s the weather condition that’s like a disgusting meal made of all sorts of ingredients that don’t match. It shines like crazy. Then the wind comes whooshing about and hurls all the dust into our eyes, and onto our painstakingly washed clothes. Suddenly it feels like it simply must rain, and though we are all excited because it has been obscenely hot, the rain also unlocks its own kind of heat. Some sort of steam rises straight from the earth’s crust and scalds us mercilessly. And the cloudy part of the weather is mixed in somewhere, somehow.
This means that, on a sad note, I no longer have the privilege of naming the weather condition on a certain day. We used to do that in school, at the teacher’s command, because that was the best way of testing whether we had understood the topic or not. I wonder what the little kids do now when the teacher asks what the weather has been on a particular day. They probably first furrow their little brows in thought and then the little hands abruptly shoot up, ready to give answers.
“Teacher, it’s rainy!”
They then stare intently at the teacher, waiting for the correct answer. He stares back, realizing that he’s as confused as they are.
“Members,” he says, “let us go to the next topic!”