They forgot

They forgot:
The people that told me of life
They forgot:
It skipped their wise minds
When they sat me down
When they took my hand
To give me their insight about this earthly life

The self-help books forgot: they talked of high tides and waves
Of moments of joy and tremendous gain
Of determination and of strength
Of not giving up through the stormy gale
Also, of life’s hard times and pain
Of traps: “Beware of life’s many traps!” they said
That life is one great crazy jungle
In which the hunters set traps, and watch, and wait.

They forgot:
I could set my own.

They forgot:
The hunter can hunt themselves
The hunter can be me
Hunting
Me.

Don’t warn me of the outside thief
Of the kidnapper that prowls dark streets
Don’t warn me of lions with bared teeth
Or of cheetahs that run at a million miles speed
Of snakes that aim and bite for the kill:
Because those, I can see
Those, we have learnt to spot
Warn me instead of the most lethal being
Warn me of
Me

Warn me that some days I will be the tsunami
That some days I will quake and bring down buildings
Warn me that I will steal from myself
Warn me that I will hit myself
That I will sit down,
Design the trap
Carefully set it
And carefully fall in it
And it will bite into my own ankles
And it will hurt
And the pain will be my lesson
And I will burn with emotion
And my cries for help will be mere curses
Me cursing
Myself.

Teach me how to get through that.

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Tremors on my birthday

Today the ground shook for me
That’s what!
It stood up and roared for me
But not just that!
It danced for me
I swear
The world did a little jump for me
That’s rare….

And all I can imagine now
Is how much it must have jumped
For my mother
The day I decided I’d jump out.

Her world must have exploded into madness
She must have been filled with so much sadness
Thinking she’d lose me
Never get to see me
Live
And grow and play and be pretty.

If I could speak I would have told her
Hush, Mummy, I’ll get to grow older
There’s a higher power, don’t you worry
It’s Him who brought me here two months early
And He’s going to be there
And I’m going to be well
And we’re going to be happy.

Now that I’m away
In my own little version of
making mummy proud
We don’t get to be together
On a day like……today……

And you know what happens?
The world shakes.

The race to outrun life; we’re defeated

The start of the race

Anticipation still shone on our face

We could still dreamily gaze

Into the early morning fog haze

Happily, excitedly,

Looking forward only,

We couldn’t wait to start.

.

And start we did, with such energy,

Run we did, such agility.

You couldn’t stop us if you dared.

But you tried, life, you did

You were always trying to get in our path

And trip us so we’d fall over.

.

But we trudged on, life, we trudged on

When we fell down we crawled

And soon we’d be back on our two feet

Running again, flying!

.

In that moment you began to understand

That you couldn’t outdo us with simple stunts

You came up with a most lethal trick

You’d tire us out and leave us sick.

Employing confusion, you made us run in circles

Go here, go there, go everywhere

So we’d end up running but never going anywhere.

.

You made our legs tired.

Tired legs.

Slow, numb legs

Leg-freeze.

.

But we learnt to deal with our bodies

If our legs hurt, there were remedies

Headache now couldn’t kill us

Exhausted bodies now couldn’t stop us

We’d go on and we’d not pause.

We’d accept no tricks, especially not yours.

.

Life, though, you just don’t give up

You came at us, nuclear options in hand

If the bodies were strong,

Then you’d fire at the mind.

Curve it around your wicked finger.

.

The result?

Tired brains.

Weak, rigid brains.

 Brain-freeze.

.

And that was it.

The straw that broke the camel’s back

You won; we’ve never finished the race

Yet we still try, more slowly, more softly

No destination, no end in sight

No light the end of our tunnel.

.

We tried to rise and take back what’s ours

But as we began, you pulled out the guns

Machine guns aimed straight at our hearts.

And you proceeded to do your final work

.

You took our souls.

And with that you took all our power

You’ve thrown us off the race tracks.

.

And now;

Tired souls

Hard, un-loving souls

Soul-freeze.

.

Greatest treasure gone.

I weep for us; no more souls

We have no more souls.